Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
