He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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