FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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