My hand turned me down
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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