But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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