why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
