He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I think i got beer on your cat.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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