Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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