why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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