yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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