A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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