Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize