Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
