you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
