Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
