I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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