I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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