quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
