I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
