I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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