I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
