No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
