Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
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