I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
