She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
