you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
