i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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