So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Enjoy the penises
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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