So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize