I faked an abortion last night.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
