Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
