what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize