he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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