Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
The uberlube is also flammable
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
