If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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