Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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