Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
