i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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