could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
