I need help removing her.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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