So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize