Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Randomize
