the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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