im gay
i know
yea but for you.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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