you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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