Can Purell be used as lube?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
