Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
