batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
