dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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