I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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