Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Houston, we have a blender
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
