i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Randomize
