Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
