yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
