Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Randomize
