So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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