your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
