Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
