Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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