they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
