Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
