My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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