Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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