We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
And the cops told us we were all naked.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
