you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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